Christmas eve (Julafton)

I'm going to keep it short...in waiting for Christmas dinner and presents...because I like living rather than documenting mostly :) 

Merry Christmas to all! och God Jul!

Waiting for Christmas..

Although I would kind of argue that Christmas isn't really something one "waits" for...that is exactly what today feels like! On one hand it's been a long time since Christmas has been the warm and festive occasion from cards and films, but also because for every year it more and more becomes a race against time to get something even vaguely resembling it. Because as I recently pointed out to my childhood friend, we are now those aunties and mothers that holds life together. She liked my point moderately well. 

BUT! this year I have a very annoyingly long cold going on so that leaves a lot of time for thinking and planing and a lot less for actually doing things. So I am literally waiting.

This day (22 of December) actually has a name, sort of, in Swedish, it's called 'dan före dan före doppare dan'  and oh my god that has a stressful ring to it! It translates to 'the day before the day before....that day you take a bath.'. Yeah. That's what it's called. Obviously. To me more than anything it just reminds me of how much I'd love to get done but probably wont.

But if I did get everything done, it would be something like this:

This year I want to take the best parts of new and old, of  Swedish and British, of christian and pagan, possible and impossible and make a sort of restoration-like scrambled eggs with fish heads sort of dessert! (it going to be better then it sounds...hopefully!).

Oh I mustn't forget! Speaking of Christmas, and more specifically 'a Christmas carol', I did make that night shirt! For one day I had a tiny mr Scrooge walking around in nightshirt and morningrobe saying " Humbug". It was almost as hilarious as the morning I found my Lus in fear of my Julbock (Yule goat)..! That would be another tradition I wont let go of :)

That's the end of my feverish rantings for now. Good luck to you all and God Jul.

Gonatt & sov gott!

Nu ska jag snabbt beretta om en idé som jusst nu hänger lite slött sådär på en oanvänd stol i hörnet..Det börjar med en bit vitt bommulls tyg och förhopningsvis slutar med två väldigt olika nattskjortor! 

Först en "stor" gammaldags nattskjorta åt min Lus att mysa i ( men antgligen mäst för mej att mys-titta på, vi får se hur de går med det ), lång med en liten krage och knappar. Sen en pytte liten till hans bejbi docka! Finns en risk att det kryper med en nattmössa också...man vet aldrig.

Det här är delvis en del av min fasination av barn i vuxen kläder och 1800-tals mode, men mäst såg tyget bara ut som det finns en nattskjorta i det.. Får se om jag får ut dem ur tyget nu då...

Känns lite konstigt att skriva på svenska jusst nu..men tänkte att jag ialla fall måste prova..eftersom svenska ändå är mitt riktiga modersmål.

Quick English recap: I'm making adorable nightshirts. The end.

Down for repair!

My blog is fine, my body less fine. I might need some brandy...

Little things.

Sometimes a little thing can change everything. Just replacing one word in a sentence can mean having to go back and re write your parts of your life..who you are..and why. Or maybe I should say correcting one word.

I was always an unusual girl. My ideas, my way of life.. I suppose I still am. But one of my proudest accomplishments was always overcoming my shyness. Every time I look at my son I wonder in amazement how it happened that he is so confident and outgoing..where did he get that from? 

  I was a quiet, shy and impressionable girl. Being left to conquer my own world was not easy.. Luckily I found a friend to fight with me. To fight for me. To my mothers dread she was a strong and confident girl..and as unusual as me. She was the one who was there for me.

20 years later in a front room miles and miles away in a foreign land. I haven't seen her in too long. We drink wine and talk of times gone by.. 

"You were never shy..you were scared."

Of course. Changing the words in that makes me a different person..and it's like finding another missing puzzle piece under your own leg that I can't believe I didn't see before.  I know most people wont see the importance of that correction but it changes everything. And I am glad to have someone in my life who knew me better than I knew me.

Family is not just blood. Or just water. 

It's the people who see you and love you still.

I hope you all keep that in mind for your own lives.

All my pretty things. (or, the arrival of Elsa!)

Last Thursday I got two things I had really been looking forward to.. A weekend visit from my childhood best friend (which is far too close to my heart to be shared with strangers on the internet) and my new non-human friend, Elsa. Yes, I named her Elsa. 

Elsa is my new dressmakers mannequin. She arrived on Thursday morning, when I was in the shower..obviously...had to sign for her...of course..and after my weekend of catching up I dressed her for the first time and it. was. awsome. Now I can start making things again!! My mind explodes with creativity! (the wine probably helps..) 

I already made some things to try out, aside from the skirt that's already old (but still cool!). First thing was to fit the corset I made some months ago with some new bones at the back and lace it up..still needs some changes but so far its looking nice.. And then there's the hooded cape! I made it for halloween as a 'just in case'-thing but never wore it. One never knows hen one needs a red hooded cape though. 

Then I started looking around... I feel a lot of the times like I do very little creative things now..but actually...it's just in a different form then it used to be. 

So this is a kind-of-collage of my favourite pretty things: 

Every morning when I wake up the first thing I see is my chat noir poster.. I love that poster..can't believe I actually have it.. Then there's my chicken clock that doesn't actually work! and my recycled candle jars and the rice lamp that's really just a scarf...Then I went on a shopping spree (encouraged by my husband and my house-friend, you sneakily encouraging lovelies..) and bought shoes...yes, shoes...and a rosary! and some adorable pictures of Victorian people. 

The pictures in frames are a work in progress, but I like where it's going!

Lastly...some months ago I got the idea of crocheting into my head...those lumps are supposed to be a shawl and fingerless gloves for my house-friend. Let's see how that goes... 

Greetings from Scandinavia in Maidstone!

Remembering 5th of November.

In the aftermath of Halloween the haunted spiritualism gives away to something much more earthly: the spirit of revolution. 

Revolution - no one needs to die!

I feel more and more like art is no longer enough..creativity is no longer enough. When I made this blog it was in a way a form of escape, a place that made me feel good to be in and a place that cut me off from a world I couldn't stand to live in. Then I left that world.  In the world I live in now there is real hope.. a place and a purpose, space to breath and think, for people like me that just wasn't there before. And I'm thinking...what kind of person would I be to ignore that just because I'm suddenly better off..because I no longer have to scrape for the bare minimum. I refuse to be made silent trough comfortability! 

But comfortability trough fear...is that really being comfortable?

So as a start to my officially expanding my blog-horizon, here is one of the people I think deserves some (more) attention! He doesn't have to be right..or likeable..but much like Charles Dickens, who was kind of a dickhead as a person, and his stories the important thing is to shine light on what is happening right in front of us while we are watching strictly come dancing and complaining about drizzle! Not everyone can hide under the covers and still feel worth something. So here it is:

Russell Brand "against death camps"

I'm sewing an A on my coat and becoming a Brand-groupie...I think this was what my history teacher called "Confessing ones colours"...

So what happened to the Halloween countdown?!

Well...the countdown went the way of all things. It is usually a rule that if I say I will do something it is almost sure that that will be the one thing I do not do. So as Halloween became busy with other more important/fun things, I just left the blog updates to its doom. I'm fickle like that.

But it was a good Halloween. 

Made lots of new decorations (including pumpkins), went trick or treating, ate sweets and lit candles..even went to a grown-up dress up party. And not until now is the rain pouring down. It was as close to perfect as I ever want my life to be.

Over all the theme for this Halloween seems to have ended up in witchcraft and hauntings..as is only appropriate I suppose! There will always be a part of me sceptical to the supernatural...and then one part completely convinced that there are unknown things out there that will snatch my soul away in a second if I let them. So I put my witch costume on and went out in the darkness...

October 29th. Two days to go.

After a relatively hellish morning including nightmares in true Halloween style and a day fixing all kinds of stuff me and Lus took out the Halloween box of awsomness. It's still kind of tiny but give it a couple of years or 10.  

I love decorating for Halloween... sometimes I let the decorations stay because I kind of like the strangeness of finding a bottle of laudanum with a skeleton inside behind the baking powder. But anyway! with some fake spider web ,lights, bottles and twigs  we now have the first steps towards a spooky feeling.

Last year I didn't dress up so this year I really want to...but there is not much time so we'll see how that goes...!

Gonatt x

October 28th. Halloween countdown.

It is finally here! Halloween, my favourite holiday. I have been in the mood since Lus asked for a ghost costume and I started watching Great British Ghosts and that is a long time for a goldfish such as my self!

But starting today, with the help of my lovely boys, the Halloween preparation can begin..

If only I had a real witched brush, because today has been a backbreaking cleaning day. In a way it feels ironic to sweep away the real spider web from the windows just to be putting fake spider web in them the next day, but I still did. Washing, dishing, sweeping, jar collecting and looking for inspiration...

Tomorrow we will be going trough what there is aand putting ghoulish things out. So far it is mostly about decorating, Lus already has two different costumes and I will have to improvise sometime during this four day countdown...looking over at my husband there in the kitchen wondering how far I can take this costuming idea of mine...!

But anyway, this is, so far, my favourite inspiration for the spooky night.  

Countdown fact nr. 1:

Being scary at Halloween is to scare away the spirits that come trough when the veil between the living and the dead is the thinnest at this very night...dressed up the ghosts will not recognise you and you will live to see another year.

Waiting for the storm.

A storm is sweeping over the south east of England this night..or so they say. I just put some pots in the kitchen for the water to drop into so it must be true. 

But before I put my hair up and creep into bed (which is looking more bohemian by the day, thanks for asking)  I want to tell you about my creative dream. Her name. Is Elsa.

Ok I don't actually have her yet, but that's what dreams are for! I realised not long ago that partly why I keep dropping my creative ideas like enthusiastic flies on a light bulb is because I lack a foam-stuffed companion. So I have decided, for the good of the art and for my peace of mind, I must find one. And when I do find a suitable mannequin. I will call her Elsa and that is that!

Lets see how it goes.

It's finished. My box home is finally finished after a couple of days of obsession.. 
 

It did turn out quite like I had in mind..a little tidier actually, but I suppose the full debauchery of 2006 would be hard to recreate in a box..at least when it comes to the dirt and crowdedness!

 

I decided not to include people after all. Turns out that my past home contained a lot more people than a simple shoe box could hold, so instead I went for hinting at the existence of people. For instance, notice the shoes that's been taken off on the way to the bed ( no shoelaces?) and the drenched petticoats on the hanger.. Both beds are unmade, one possibly being slept in right now, the other just a blanket and pillows on a mattress, dirty and thrown around... Someone didn't have the time to finish breakfast beside the bed. There is an iron being heated on the stove..no cooking needed for bread and apples!
 

In a way, more than anything else, this reminds me of those moments when I stumbled, exhausted and hungry, into my rarely empty flat..ate my noodles and fell asleep. Some hours later waking up to live the rest of my life. It's very much a Victorian styled idealization of my own long gone past..It's my point of view.

It is a past that made me. I did love it..but I am so happy it is over!

Autumn is here!

 

After having mourned the loss of my summer it was kind of nice to wake up to the realities of the British autumn. While at this time 2 years ago I was lighting fires and brushing the frost off my bike in the morning, now  the leaves are barely yellow.. 

So today Lus and I put on our knitwear and scarves and took a walk through the streets of Maidstone, on a quest for "red berries". 

 

Aside for the pride I feel over my child's newly acquired skill of swinging, I also feel hopeful that I'll get my autumn doorway done this week! It's a small thing but you know what they say...it's the small things in life. (They also say the devil is in the details, but I'm ignoring that for now! Vanity, here I come!)

 Some days ago we made some tin-lanterns and now the rowanberry-beads will join them. 

Tin lanterns were a lot harder to make then they look! It was supposed to be mine and Lus project but after possibly even a minute my husband had to step in and be manly with a hammer...slight set back there..but it turned out to be a lot of fun. In the end we made a star, a heart and a pumkin-face.

The rowanberry-beads were a lot easier. Lus deemed them useless and juicy. For now they hang around in the window...

Now all I have to do is steal that chair in the garden and claim it as mine! and possibly make a pillow and a rug rag.

Lastly, you know that circus picture? yeah, this is what's up with that: I recently got my self some old-lady rollers because, you know, I'm 27 it's time for a change. I wet my hair and put them in... I expected a 40's look..but I looked like those early 20th century carny girls I've seen in Carnivale and Water for the Elephants more than anything. So until my hair grows out, I'm just going to go for that! It's kind of a cool thing anyway and I need to practice my flexibility... Tomorrow the rest of my red silk sheet will become a 30's circus girl dress. If I don't get arrested for assault at the parent-teacher meeting that is (the best I can possibly say about the teacher is that she has a lose grasp of the obvious). Let's hope not!

Red-lipstick-kisses x

Dreams vs. Responsibility

Let's just be serious for a moment. What is the right thing to do? Yesterday I realised that now (this is way too soon!) is the time I should start to teach my son about the rules of society versus the right thing to do.. and today it was brought up about my own life. 

I'd be a very different teacher!

Haven't I given enough? Haven't I been strong enough for now..? I want to follow my own dreams now. I want to be free to be weak and do the impossible. I want to follow my domestic and artistic dreams.. 

Then my friend turned to me and said, " I wish you could be my child's teacher. You have such insights when it comes to children and these things, you should really think about it."

And I knew it would be the right thing to do.

Damn that right thing!

For now I am going to make a selfish decision ..as far as I can..but it will haunt me to now do the right thing..

Christmas fair in the air!

So yes, even if it's still a long time until Christmas I have this idea: I want to go to a Christmas fair. And not as in just going and freezing and looking and buying a lollipop (yes, that is my usual experience) and then go home, I want to be one of the people who sell stuff. 

I know I have never been much of a sales person..God knows I hate grumpy costumers and smiling..but I'm going to now wonder, MAYBE I hated it so much because I had to. Maybe it was the angry people I couldn't understand, early hours in a cold shop by my self eating dry bread and carrying things almost my own weight just to make enough money to keep my one room and buy my dry bread. It was the best I'd had at the time, but maybe... Maybe now it would, like so many things, be like a different world all together? 10 years and new countries make a lot of difference.

What I'd really want to do is have my own fabric and costume shop and live on top of it..already have potential places picked out..but for now I'd absolutely love to be at a Christmas fair!

Just a working title, but you get my point

I did go once with my mother in law, but I think I could do better a second time. It's not as easy as it sounds in my head unfortunately. Right now I'm still looking for different fairs, building up the courage to call/e-mail people and figuring out how to get around without a car. Hopefully this is early enough..

The easy part about this is what to actually sell if I get out there! Aside for the little dolls I already have I want to make the street children I've had in mind now for a while.. and of course, there is my fascination for making adult clothes in children's sizes and all things Victorian. 

Right now though I feel a bit like a Cinderella looking out through the window dreaming ridiculous dreams..

Here's to hoping!

Groundwork and Birthdays

I can't say I've ever really been that good at the ground work of things...it's time consuming and monotonous at best and pealing the skin off my fingers at worst. BUT! the best things are set on a good ground, I can't deny that, so this week I did some ground work! 

Firstly there's the pillows. In true bohemian style I like to do things in a sort of poor decadence.. which in many cases mean buying something very cheap and basic and/or second hand and making it into something extraordinary. So inside covers made of second hand fabric from across the street ( it was adorable!) are ripped up pillows from Wilkinsons. And they are...awesome. Just awesome. Now I can continue to work on the pillowcases and duvet covers. 

I have actually decided to buy the fabric and just sew it all my self from now on, partly because everything are sort of weirdly sized now..but mostly because, for some reason, the British lie to sleep on polyester. Everywhere I go I see "cotton sheets- 45% cotton 55% polyester". THAT'S NOT COTTON!! I said in Asda yesterday morning... So now I'll only be keeping my sheets brought with me from Scandinavia and the ones I make my self. 

It might seem picky..but my bed is my shrine. If you know what I mean.

I love it when people know me

Secondly (and with a proud smile), I made a bag for my hair rollers. I made it with my hands! All except the last bits are entirely by hand to the sounds of Midsumer Murders. And my fingers might never forgive me. But they probably will. They are fingers..

But now, to continue my Victorian education..and celebrate my 27th birthday, I will take a long bath with my birthday present: "How to be a Victorian".

Last but not least I want to share something I watched this morning. It is a story about a man who left the 20th century behind to live in the 18th century...ish. This could so be me if I didn't have my beloved family...but I'd be more historically accurate...hopefully.

Ghosts and other gouls

 English autumns are different then Nordic autumns. I'm not in any way surprised that this is the country with the most ghost-believers in Europe. This is a country that in many ways lives with one foot in this world and one foot in the past..for both good and bad. It's damp, dark and still kind of warm...The stone and brick houses become grey and dripping with fog and the streets are dark and narrow. It's just on the edge between inviting and scary. I watch the flame dance in my oil lamp. My feet are like England's... one foot here...one on the other side. 

Ghosts are a subject that, unsurprisingly, always comes up more often in the autumn. It's the old age of the year, if you will. And everyone should know by now, one is never more alive then at the sight of death.

Now people wait for Halloween (or all hallows eve, as some "Christians" like to separate them selves here...I don't get it. Surely we're all Christians?) and the end of this year. My son started early and asked for a ghost costume weeks ago, so I did already make a ghost costume. When it was done it looked so cool I almost thought about making one for my self as well... I might still.  Although I hear most ghosts just wear white and look a bit grey and that look wont be hard to achieve!

The ghost costume I made is actually supposed to be a mix of Casper the friendly ghost and the Ghost of Christmas past. He couldn't make up his mind. So it's basically a long white dress with hood and wings..sort of. And it has a drawstring in the hood  with room for glow sticks. So for Halloween all I need to get is some white face paint to do the ghost face!

 Although there is a risk he'll just be spiderman. Those fickle 5 year olds!

Costumes aside though, ghosts has always fascinated me..I'd like to read the book "haunted Maidstone" to see where I might run into some, but to be honest I doubt one should look for them. And also..a good ghost story should always be told, not read. It sometimes makes me a little sad how people seem to want to connect ghosts with evil.. I have never truly been that scared of them. In my mind they are all just people left behind. They were all people once with their own stories and lives and struggles..Just thinking how much we could learn from the stories of past people if they could tell them...if they even exist..One day I might wander trough this house as a grey shadow my self. And I doubt my ghostly shape will mean any harm.

Last of all, I cant talk about ghosts without mentioning the Tudors and Hampton court palace. There is something ghostly over the whole Tudor period. I'm sure everyone by now has heard of the  door-closing skeleton on film, but I'm putting it here anyway. 

 When I went to Hampton court I almost hoped to see my favourite ghost of all, Anne Boleyn. 

One of the best compliments I have ever had was that I am just like her. One can only hope though.

Happy haunted autumn to all.

Because this is all I have to say today

To be continued..

Time-skipp! 1940's

5 years of scissor free hair ended not so dramatically yesterday in the garden. Very happy to have a change to go with my life changes..

 

So with my short hair, to the sound of swing /electro-swing and the 1940's UK radio I have found my way back to my wartime fascination. For so long I have had my hippie like Victorian hair, and a 40's hairstyle is just impossible for me to accomplish so NOW I have all new opportunities!And with that came the inspiration to try to make a 1940's dress. Just a house dress really, the kind made out of curtains during the rationing. I've had a fabric for some time that is just amazing, but it's actually from the 70's...but I think I might just make it work. 

I quite like wartime..rationing and all. Managing well on very little kind of suits me and, aside from that, unlike the sleek and helmet-haired 30's & the curly full figured 50's, the 40's naturally malnourished look works very well for me! So for a while I'll be back to shoulder-length soft curls, red lips & strangely cute summer dresses. Hopefully.

Ps.  Eggs in hair. It's awesome. Totally doing that again.

A word from one of my role models.

 "I have never deceived anybody, because I have never belonged to anybody. My independence was all my fortune and I have known no other happiness. It is still what attaches me to life."

- Cora Pearl

A very strange morning

As any woman of the western world not living on the streets or in a religious cult, I have my own carefully selected beauty products that starts off my morning. I actually feel a bit sad about how bound I am to my soaps and facewash and such sometimes..

So this morning I washed my hair in eggs and had a steamy facebath with a lemon & bicarbonate of soda facemask. Feeling very liberated by the modern scientificly engineered beauty product consumption right now. 

 
I have high hopes for this! my hair is no where near as awful as I thought it would be (I'm letting it self dry..the horror!) and my face is smooth like a peach. Maybe I could make it in Victorian times after all...

But we'll see how it goes!

On a different subject though, I see many of my readers are American. That's interesting. Because let me tell you right now, I think America is the fat loud and stupid shitstain on the western world. Your government may be evil, but the people choose comfortability over freedom and human rights. I seriously hope Europe can do better ( yeah, I'm looking at you Britain!)..

Happy weekend to all