Fear and Love in Maidstone

.Side step.

Maidstone

They say you don't know what you have til it's gone. I'd like to say that you do. You know how deeply you love just before it is all snatched away. 

I could be talking about love in the conventional way now and it would be true..but this time I mean something slightly less..romantic, if you will.

..Just as happy inside as on the street

I am home. For the first time in 20 years I am home again. I doubt most people understand the gravity of that, but one day I stood in my kitchen ironing on the bench I had just cleaned and watched "the White Queen" and I knew I loved this place. I love with a passion, like that early teenage love that stays with you, that first time you feel like you found love since you loved unconditionally as a little child, that kind of love. I don't care if it fades, I don't care if it's real..I am just thankful I get to have it. Right now I never want to leave. And as I folded the skirts and put them in the cupboard I remembered my mothers hateful words...and I felt like the luckiest girl that ever lived because I do not feel them.  All the pain and all the fighting makes every experience feel like bright colours, like lightning..

I curse those that will soon try to take this away from me, I will not let you!  I love my mismatched beautiful Maidstone...it took me into it's arms and I was no longer outside..I don't fear anymore.. 

I am already home.

Shipwrecked but still partying!

Friday 19th of July

 As I said, can't believe it has been 5 years... On Friday and Saturday we celebrated my Lus 5th birthday. And although our metaphorical ship sank like Regarskeppet Wasa, dragged down with all it's fancy ideas before it was even out at sea, the party went on in the lifeboats with the surviving half of the crew...metaphorically.

how I felt at 3pm this Saturday

First blow - Turns out paddling pools are not to be found in heatwaves

Second blow -It would have been too cold for a pool anyway

Started taking in water - stressed and tired we ran out of time too early

Launching lifeboats - Cakes turned liquid 

Final blow - Half the crew were ill

 Ship sank - Guests arrived before things were finished

our pirate crew

But despite all  we had a kind of nice party in our metaphorical lifeboats.. we all blew up the balloons together, the BBQ food was good, the treasure hunt went relatively good, and all in all people got along. So in the end it turned out in the best way possible! 

There was pirate muffins, food on sticks, treasure, water guns, pirate rum (mead in cool bottles) and lots of running around playing. We ended it all, soaked from the water gun fight, with watching the film Hook inside. Lights out at 6!

I must say that one of my favourites was my mead that I made earlier this week. In the end only me and Lus drank of it (the taste of our traditional Viking drink appealing less to the British taste pallet), but to me it had the taste of a long forgotten time..of sneaking into the kitchen with my sister to taste it out of the barrel before it was done and eating all the raisins. I already made a promise to my sister to save her some for next weekend..

To end it all I want to share a picture that reminded me of this long forgotten time. It's called 'Smultron'.

Now for the clean up...

Pirating continues!

 

For most of this week things have been on stand-still. A wave of fever swept over our lives and put all the creativeness aside in favour of lying down, watching films and eating chocolate..in bed. Fortunately the pirate outfit was mostly done before that! 

There was the shirt (as shown off before), a belt that came with a second hand skirt, his fancy Victorian waistcoat and striped pirate trousers. The trousers are actually just my standard pyjama bottom pattern on a cut up orange sheet drawn on with sharpie pens. Then for a piraty finish I left the legs ends unmade and cut them uneven. It seems it is the trousers that are the most popular part of it all! Hopefully they will still be clean on the big day...

Lus contributed nicely to the pirate ambience with his lego pirate ship.

At this moment the next part in the pirate series is hanging to dry outside on the wash-line... our very own jolly roger (with bones,not swords!). So next week we will be making our pirate decorations. We'll see how that turns out!

..yo ho..yo ho..a pirates life for me...

I clearly remember lying in my bed and seeing this little foot shaped bump stretching out from inside my stomach. With a 50/50 mix of fear and anticipation I wanted to see what kind of person that foot belonged to...and with a dramatic entrance into the world that alien-like feeling inside me turned into a tiny darkhaired sleeping baby. It was a person I didn't know.

 Almost 2 weeks from now that will be 5 years ago. The dark hair has turned into my blond and I can now say that I know this witty, dramatic, thoughtful child of mine. One thing that I do know is his love for pirates!

So for his 5th birthday there will be a pirate party. I must say this will be as fun for me as it will be for him, but in very different ways! My fun has already started with the making of invitations (on coffee stained paper with burned edges of course), a task my soon-to-be 5 year old found exiting for the first one..after that I was on my own. 

Then there was the pirate costume! I suppose as a pirate one can really wear almost anything shabby, but I just had to make a pirate shirt. As always Lus was not too fond of the trying things on (especially just half the costume) but he did do it..for the greater good..? There is just something about dressing children as adults that appeal to me so that's what I'll be doing this time too! If he will let me that is. It appears the child has a mind of his own..!

To be continued...