I resign.

It's been 13 years. 

When I celebrated my birthday this year I also celebrated the death of something that was made by others and now killed by me.

I remember the exact moment when I became what people call a "Muse"..I was 15 in a candlelit room with my hair curled..and that flash of light set my perception of my self in stone. 

I can't say I haven't loved it, because I have. I have seen things and done things I would never take back and I have met the most extraordinary people. But being a muse is not about being effortlessly inspiring. Being an extension of someone else's imagination, being secretly aware of your appearance at all times, existing simply to create a feeling in someone else that you do not get to feel...seeing others accomplishing things you wish you could do..That is what a muse does. A muse is someone without an inner self.

So I resign. After 13 years I am tired of being just an outside. I no longer care to inspire, I want to be my own person, with my own accomplishments and give my self the right to exist. There is a person in there somewhere that I'd really like to know. So from now on I will write whatever I like.

 I am a muse no longer.