My hatred of fiction part 2.

Actually there's one fictional thing I don't hate and can still take sewing inspiration from..and that doesn't bore me. 

I think it's the feeling of complete misunderstanding of a familiar situation that this doesn't fail on. I need that after all the half finished and bland characters I've seen lately. I need something to go all the way. Even if it is just in the back ground of my sewing. Especially in the background of all my sewing..!

Then I will continue on to my beloved Victorian farm.

That's why I prefer fact to fiction!

As you might have noticed I like watching films while sewing. It helps to keep my otherwise very easily distracted mind focused on what I'm doing, so I look for things that will keep me in the right place. And it works. Sort of.. There is one problem with that though: Fiction often tends to have very limited and shallow female characters. Even the films centred around women (no actually, especially films centred around women!) usually doesn't extend further than the male gaze, so when sewing for a long time..watching for a long time..has the very undesired effect of making me feel misunderstood. I'm always left with the feeling that however much I could identify (because that's what we inevitably do, even if the choice of options isn't great) it's all left a little half way..they don't react as real women would, there is no trace of the real experience of the scenarios that are so familiar..only the reinforcement of how one should be. And that, I suppose, is the real identification in all of this. I am reminded that that's as far as anyone cares to see. 

It's hard enough fighting to get to define my self or even seeing my self from an inside point of view in this world..I don't need fiction to make the boxes even smaller and the labels even stricter..

Being casually misunderstood and unseen is not an exciting novelty.

So maybe in films, much like in books, that's why I prefer factual things. (I'm youtube-ing Victorian farm as we speak. If they made a town version of that I would seriously faint out of happiness!) Because when no one is the subject then anyone can be. The space is wide open and seen trough no ones eyes.. I like that. It let's me breath. 

In a way I do feel like I'm the lucky one. If I can put down a book or turn off a film and instantly it all seems easier and life more exciting..how lucky is that..

Back from the woods.

Ok so now I'm on more familiar ground. The only thing I can't decide on is what kind of neckline I will make, high one or low one, as so nicely illustrated in this drawing I found on pintrest (yes, I am pintresting now) though a little too polarised for my taste. This also nicely illustrates how I'd like to look vs. how I actually look. Minus the boobs. I definitely do not have 2-oranges-glued-on-boobs like cartoon women.

Luckily today wont be the day I decide what to do but soon I will have to. Back to pintrest it is..!

To be continued...

Between sheepwashing and Victorian farm.

2 ½ days.

Looking at it now that how it feels..like half way between someone in a Thomas Hardy story and Ruth Goodman in Victorian farm..and a little fröken Julie at the end. I'd say that's a success! Pretty much exactly what I aimed for..

I decided to take down the bustling at the back, it just flowed nicer, so now it has a bit of a train. It also turned out that I like the sleeves rolled down for now.

  And I can't believe the only thing that went wrong was that one of my wooden buttons broke! 

I've gotten turned off by patterns lately (more than usual) so I shaped the fabric onto the mannequin to make a fabric pattern and then made the tucks on the mannequin. I think that's the easiest way to make the top part. The skirt is probably the simplest ever.. I wasn't sure the orange trim was going to work but that was my risky part, and it totally did! It brought out the orange in the top fabric, which is exactly what I hoped it would do.

Most of all I like that I can wear it with and without both modern and Victorian underwear because in the end, that's usually what determines if I'll actually wear it or not. Even if it's today seen as kind of a liberation (-ish, and not always in the best of ways!) to skip your bra I can still relate to the feeling of being unproperly or immodestly dressed without the proper underwear. It's just soo noticeable, and corsets do the same, it shapes you into that "right" shape, and without one a lot of Victorian clothes just look wrong. But not this one. And I can see me liking that about this dress far into the future!

So now, I'm ready to pack my bags and head out to Wessex for a while. Feeling pretty damn accomplished right now!

 Good night.

Finding a soft spot.

Two and a half days later and I'm almost finished. It's unfinished at the hem and sleeves but, no buttons and I still have to put the bustle strings in the back but..it's nearly finished. Lining and all. I smile every time I look at it because never before have I gotten it so detaildly perfect. The stripes run exactly in line from the shoulders and the tucks lay so perfectly where they should.. It's almost noticeable that my first inspiration wasn't Victorian at all but late 18th century. But only almost. 

Tomorrow I will add the orange ribbon and my wooden buttons.

I must say I find this dress slightly tricky. Not in the making but in the fit. Mentally. This is the lightest and softest thing I have ever made..as I can remember anyway.  It does fit, it fit's remarkably well, but I do feel like I'm a different person in it. Maybe when I finish it it will fit in better but for now I look a lot less...dramatic...than usual. 

Younger somehow. 

I am a city girl and that is what I know. So for me that's where my thoughts go for inspiration even in my Victorian sewing.. a land built of dim lights and overcrowding. Much like my own life. 

When I saw the light stripy fabric I didn't think 19th century, I thought 18th century..but maybe I too can find my way out of the harsh dark city out into the woods and the stone cottages for a little. 

Maybe.

So yes. Home again.

I'm quite happy to be home in the Victorian era again, I even dug out my corset and tried it on for the first time in a..year? It's definitely time for a new, improved one! And another underskirt..the one from 4 years ago is now literally worn to pieces.

But then I'm making my two new dress ideas. One summer dress, like a cross between the one from Victorian Farm and this picture..I love this picture. The fabric was already decided months ago when I visited my friend Amanda and picked up some cheap striped cotton that I can't find in England as easily. 

It feels like the easier choice.. I need a distraction and it all fits so well into my comfort zone..no fuss. Lately my need for control has been hard to bare and I can't see any bumps in my road with this one. Can't help but loving it. Part of me wants to go all authentic and take out my real Victorian iron and heath it on real fire while I sew it all by hand but...one nightdress took long enough, I just will not have the patience.

Then there is this new idea and if the first one goes smoothly I might do this one straight after! The fabric is a woollen second hand treasure from a year ago, it's so thin and heavy..a little jeans like but I think I can fix it. I'm going to make one much like the pale green bustle dress from years ago and the red one from when I first moved here just a little less showy. I like the showy things I do..but I never wear them ( I take them out, look at them and then slip right into my brown country skirt and top) and quite honestly, I'm not sure I'm young enough or live the kind of a life to wear them even if I was a real Victorian and didn't just skip on it for social acceptance. Once, but not any more..and I say that in the happiest way possible. I've never believed in lingering too long, it makes for a sad ending to things.. There is a time for everything and that time has passed.

I'll still put gold in my corset and have an awesome skirt, I'm not old yet!

And in case inspiration fades I always have these near by:

Might even take out my How to be a Victorian book...

Home sweet home.

Maidstone 1840