This is my "Why Nice Guys Are Actually The Worst" list.

It's the rape you guys, the rape! 

Lately when I've read those lists in various places (on facebook) I've started to think there is a specific problem about everything that's being said in them. Mainly that it's not very clear. They mention things like texting too often and giving unasked for compliments but... you either have to know what they are talking about already or really care to understand it. And quite honestly I don't think "nice guys" do. So here it is! My list of what makes "nice guys" so awful.

nr 1. (and this is a big one) It's the rape. Just in all forms and ways, the rape threats, the rape jokes, the slut shaming and, of course, the actual rape. If you class yourself as a "nice guy" you are almost without a fail guilty to some or all of these.

 Just stop it. 

nr 2. The stalking. Can you just fucking chill out. You can not hunt down affection or vagina (well actually you can, see nr 1, but it still falls into the "just fucking stop it" category). Women are human beings that need time to think and personal space just like you guys. 

Just stop it.

nr 3. The guilting. Or as I like to call it: boyfriends are the worst. Don't guilt anyone into sex, that's also rape. Don't gaslight. Don't trick your friends into dating you or have sex with you out of guilt. Don't make anyone feel bad about their bodies, it's not likely to change, you're not being with a DIY project and there is already a multimillion industry on that, that's going to do a way better job then you. 

Just stop it.

There! that's my main list. It can be compromised into:

  Just fucking chill out. Work on your social skills and chill the fuck out. That doesn't mean stop, because there are more options than throwing your car keys in the river and running people over, it means slow down and learning to read the situation.

Oh and here's an extra hint on the way:

Don't gender people. Don't talk about how you already know how someone will behave because they are "naturally like that" or pretend women are some alien life form that's impossible to understand. We are all human with the same amount of feelings and desires and differences. 

Just stop it.

I think men in general underestimate how stressful and extremely tiring it can be to constantly be in use, like an asset that needs to be evenly spread, and all those lists and hints and tips are all really about that. The wish to be seen as a person and not as a price or a commodity. 

But if you do feel yourself represented in this list, fear not, there is hope! Burn your Nice Guy-Bingo Card! You can become a really nice person without earning any points or pointing it out. And let's face it, you're probably just a bad guy in nice guy suit anyway so now you can congratulate yourself on all that sex you will now undoubtedly get since you no longer finish last, ey? 

Seriously though. Be a person, not a nice guy.

Glad Påsk.

So what is the "real" meaning of Easter? Is it chocolate and netflix as suggested on facebook? Is it strictly the memory of Jesus on the cross and the resurrection, the conviction of my fun-starved cousin? Is it dressing up your kids as witches and painting them in the face because we once got so paranoid that we burned 300 women for a crime that didn't exist,you know that old celebration..? Is it the ancient celebration of Ishtar and the return of fertility after winter? Who knows! I suppose Easter is, just like all the other holidays, whatever you want it to be. 

I see it as a religious celebration slapped onto a pagan tradition and none of them are more real or more important because in the end, they all have the same point. I quite like seeing the old meeting the new in a way.. (and that being the old pagan rituals meeting the newer Christian message and then the commercialisation of eggs! and not fucking ever existing jesus being watered down by heathens because fuck off Andreas.) To be honest I'm really thankful the religious aspect of this season has been taken care of by elderly ladies at children's groups this year because seeing my best friend drift into the dark corners of Christianity before dying has really put me off my annual Jesus-film marathon.

 So this year my Easter will be pagan and my marathon will consist of Häxornas Tid which I definitely recommend if you speak Swedish.

And there is a lot to go around of the Swedish pagan traditions so I'll be busy!

I don't really know any English pagan traditions, partly because I'm not English but also because I think this place has really grown away from it. England has Halloween so I'm going to guess Easter isn't really as much of a big deal.

As a child my favourite holiday was always Easter, it's a lot like Christmas but with dressing up instead of presents and eggs instead of snow. And this year, with Tarot cards.

Ok fine. The lamb will still be eaten!

Nr 3! Because it's hard to forget a 7 yearold saying "tonight I'll be a fucking legend".

Lastly, and in no particular order, here is my 3d favourite drunk history! 

I wish I found more of them and they were longer but I can always hope.

 

And yes, I do let my child watch them. He especially likes the ones where someone vomits because, well..he is 7. I'm not a huge fan of letting children be children for as long as I  can find ways to lie to them or/keep things away because I suppose I think I prefer being there to explain things to him then finding out from some "cool" 12 year old behind a bin or something, but also, who ever heard a child say they wish they could be ignorant for a little longer. 

Besides, I seem to have inherited the slightly morally grey fondness for teaching children to say way too grown up things! 

 

He's not that into you. Lucky you!

Ok so I'm going to make more of an effort now then just posting and half peeing my self. I have mixed emotions about moving on this time, while it's never been that hard before I now stop my self from doing new things because..well..it's hard to re-distribute the amount of sharing that used to go to one person at the same time as I've heard that it's a good idea to surround one self with energy giving things and people while going trough hard times.

That's the coldest way I could possibly put that so let's move on!

This is the second part of "omg I love drunk history so much!": Henry VIII finds a wife.

But in all seriousness..who haven't been on the reciving end of a "weeell you're ugly anyway!". I think she did way better then all the other ones :D

Drunk History

Because this is literally the funniest thing I have ever seen and I literally almost peed my self laughing. Enjoy!

 

 

 

Welcome to my fairy garden, aka the garden of desperation.

Between two chopped down and misshapen trees in my garden I started building. First it was just one door out of clay that I made on new years day. I thought it would help me take my mind off things since that was the day I found out Amanda was dying.. Now it's grown with another door and a well and some windows to follow. I know I will have to leave it some day but that day on her funeral when I couldn't be there I made one last door. 

Who knows what's to follow..

"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming, that's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting.." 

                                                                               - Tinkerbell

Olof Palme, my childhood crush.

I think it is the voice. And the slightly aggressive passion. I have always liked passionate people with warm voices, but it is also probably because this was a person that was very relevant to the culture and time in which I grew up. Most of all though it is that his name would always come up in heated discussions around the dinner tables of my politically interested family and it was clear that there were many different opinions to be had. And it turns out that I am my fathers daughter after all.. 

In the end, whether it's good or bad, I am profoundly affected by being that curious child who preferred listening to grown ups talk rather then play games and hearing things that I might now not want my own child to hear.. Some people told me that being passionately left was a thing for the young and stupid but clearly that didn't have to be the case! I found that interesting and I still do.

So if I ever had one of those dinners where you get to invite dead people from history the first invitation would of course go to my best friend Amanda.. but the next would inevitably go to the strongest political icon in my life, Olof Palme, my first left wing crush.

And then I would make it awkward by asking if he can read us a bedtime story because omg that voice! Fan vad mysigt!

For the ones that doesn't know (=aren't Swedish. It's completely impossible not to know this if you're Swedish, he is like one of the most famous people ever!), Olof Palme was a socialist democrat politician and prime minister in the 60's to 80's who spoke frankly and openly about the injustices in the world and was assassinated on this day, 28th of February, 30 years ago.

It is amazing that even if I was only a foetus at the time of the murder my dad managed to always be 5 minutes away from a Krister Pettersson joke at all times throughout my entire childhood.